@everyone,

I regret to inform you that I will not be attending group masterbation tonight. It is with a heavy heart that I relay this information. I was certainly hoping to attend tonight’s riveting session but alas. I should state that the reason for which I am refraining from tonight’s monkey spank off is do entirely to the fact that I in fact have to study for finals next week. It has nothing to do with me desiring to avoid jacking a off with you fine gentlemen. Perhaps next week, when exams are done, I will be free to sling yogurt with my fellow men, but tonight I must sadly decline. Hopefully you all will not think so negatively towards me for my choice in priorities. Until next time, I bid you all a happy and fruitful masterbation session.