A Redditor having a girlfriend is completely *undefined behavior* (UB). In particular, the universe assumes that all UB must never happen, and therefore will eliminate all branches that lead to a Redditor having a girlfriend.

Like all instances of UB, if this assumption turns out to be wrong, i.e., a Redditor having a girlfriend is actually possible among all possible control flow, the universe will apply the wrong optimization strategy, and may sometimes even corrupt seemingly unrelated matter, causing difficult-to-debug problems.

Allow a Redditor to get a girlfriend only when you can prove that he will never do so. Otherwise, consider allowing the Redditor to become happy, which does not allow optimizations but will cause the Redditor to explode when happiness is reached.